Reverse Report

Liberal members of the Senate called for sweeping changes to the RCMP in a published position paper.

They prattled on with much fancy language and political yak-yak.

But what if we reversed that? What if we substituted “RCMP” where it said “Senate” and “Senate” where it said “RCMP” What if we made some slight alterations?

The story might read this way:

RCMP Report On The Re-Making Of The Senate

“Restructuring the Senate makes far more sense than trying to stuff more of the old cronies into Ottawa. Weeding out the useless is far more effective than sending political favourites into their very own “money and benefit haven” for very long stretches of time.” So declares the latest RCMP report on the Canadian Senate.

The RCMP acknowledges that there is a Senate reform process underway, but the RCMP does not have much faith in that process. They warn that if it does not work, Canadians are in for many more "horror stories" about the wasteful abuse in what they call democracy.

"The Senate transformation seems to lack any momentum," said Sgt. DeGood. "Some of the bigger things it lacks are any sort of honesty, reality or human-caring.”

Among the reforms suggested by the RCMP is a Taser policy. Rather than getting into petty, infantile arguments with each other, the Senate, and even the House of Commons, could simply taser each other when they disagreed.

The RCMP report went further, “Perhaps the Senate in Canada has served its purpose and it is time to move one. Total abolition might be the best answer.”